I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
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