yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
