Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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