ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
FUCK WHALES
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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