My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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