finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
