his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
