so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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