put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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