I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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