i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
