Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
