i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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