Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
