just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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