and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
