You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Houston, we have a blender
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
