zippers are such a cool invention
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
