Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
