just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize