I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize