you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
