she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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