The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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