Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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