he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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