Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
