It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
