she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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