I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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