A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
