It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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