okay pat passed out under dana's car
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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