i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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