i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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