I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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