Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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