the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
soo... how was my night?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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