Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize