I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
His nipple licking is glorious
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