I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
