Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
