carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I am spending my child support on dildos
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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