You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
