THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
