My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
