I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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