Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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