Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
