He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
