Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
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I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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