Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
