The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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