my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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