i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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